cite as: F. Bi. 2008. Internet Goracularities: Michelle Malkin was here. Intl. J. Inact., 1:181–184
O Great Goracle whose feet I am unworthy to look up to: Michelle Malkin hath cited a manifestation of your supreme logo as it appeared on my humble blog. Is this good or bad? Please dispel my doubts, O Goracle Most Wise!
Your humble supplicant,
And in response, thus spake the Goracle:
Goracle: Michelle Malkin? On thy blog? Ah, an interesting question; let’s see —
[a picture of Michelle Malkin automagically appears before the Goracle; enter Naomi Goreskes in a nightgown]
Goreskes: Hey, Gorrie… [sees the picture] What’s that — Michelle Malkin? You’re not having an affair with —
Goracle: No, no, no! Look, it’s a question from a supplicant. Check this out — Malkin takes our logo from one of our Goracularities, completely ignores what it says, and then mouths off about a “Green World Order”:
Welcome to the Green World Order, where you will bow before the altar of the global warming gods or be punished and prosecuted:
Stephen Hockman QC is proposing a body similar to the International Court of Justice in The Hague to be the supreme legal authority on issues regarding the environment.
Goreskes: Wow. She thinks that GORACVLVM·MAGNVM·NOSCETIS means something like “Green World Order”? Or that the ICJ is like the Illuminati?
Goracle: (And that the logo was created using Photoshop.) It gets better:
Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister, has agreed the concept of an international court will be taken into account when considering how to make these international agreements on climate change binding. The court is also backed by a number of MPs, climate change experts and public figures including the actress Judi Dench.
Judi Dench?! Leo diCaprio and Gwynnie Paltrow have not yet been contacted for their expert opinions yet, but were said to approve the global court scheme as well.
Goreskes: I don’t hear anyone claim that Dench is an “expert”. She’s just a “public figure” who likes the idea.
Goreskes: Ooh, that’s so much better than movie stars! Perhaps Heartland can put Michael Crichton as an “expert” too.
Goracle: Problem is, Crichton’s no more.
Goreskes: They can make do with his ghost, I guess.
Goracle: … OK honey, just a moment while I answer the supplicant’s question… [types] Well, dear supplicant, Malkin is a prominent wingnut, and she didn’t try to put words into your mouth… so her citation isn’t such a bad thing after all. Keep it up!
[Goracle and Goreskes start making out]
You owe the Goracle a private jet made of thin air.