cite as: F. Bi. 2008. Gorbachev Bavariæ. Intl. J. Inact., 1:68–71
Climatologist Gavin Schmidt has recently revealed that the entire climate science community is controlled by the iron fist of a secret cabal — the Climatati!
I’ll conveniently ignore the sentence immediately after that, because I just received, from an anonymous source, proof positive that the Climatati exists! The figure on the right shows a fragment of an early manuscript of the cabal’s meeting proceedings. The words on this mere fragment should send chills down anyone’s spine: besides talking about the Climatati, it also mentions a Goracle, an agenda, albedo, an Inquisition, a Senate conspiracy, as well as a coded reference to Nostradamus… and that’s not all! Be afraid, be very afraid.
The presence of the Climatati may explain why, when climate change inactivists touch on climate conspiracy theories, there seem to be 3 different levels (or registers) of discourse:
- The H1 level, used by inactivist think-tanks talking to the media and the world at large. Here, the tendency is to pump out conspiracy theories which are relatively bland and watered-down.
- The H2 level, used by inactivist blog commenters in talking with the rest of the world. The commenters often deny that the inactivist movement’s into conspiracy theories.
- And there’s the L level, used by right-wing ‘news’ outlets in preaching to their own readers. These outlets throw out the most outlandish and most cloud-cuckoo conspiracy theories they can conjure up, to keep their readers excited… and paranoid.
It’s a sort of triglossia, if you will. The H1 level of discourse will include the conspiracy theories of Bast, Lawson, Lindzen, and others which I’ve discussed in my previous blog entries. The H2 level comprises comments such as these:
Global Warming Is A Scam: Ah yes, another warm-monger trots out the conspiracy strawman. Most if not all of us who have our doubts about “climate change” mention nothing about conspiracies, […]
zog: What’s this crap about a conspiracy theory.
batnv: Conspiracy no, control yes.
It’s those darn Soviets, again
So, this brings us to — you guessed it — an example of L level conspiracy discourse: a recent essay on Renew America, by one Wes Vernon:
[… In] the spring 1998 issue of The Register […], [Natalie] Grant [Wraga] identified Green Cross International (GCI) as a Non-Government Organization (NGO) founded by Mikhail Gorbachev, the last communist dictator of the Soviet Union. The aim of GCI was worldwide enforcement of a rigid environmental agenda. […]
[One of the] GCI meetings […included] what Grant called “The Big Event — the Moscow Conference,” in January 1990. Then-Senator Al Gore was among the speakers. Only two years before, he had conducted hearings on Capitol Hill where the “global warming” theory was showcased.
There are two problems with Vernon’s account. First, though Vernon takes pains to paint Natalie Grant as a credible source, yet strangely enough, when I try googling
"Natalie Grant" "The Register" Gorbachev on the Wild Wild Web, I find only regurgitations of Vernon’s article. So what’s going on? Is Vernon quoting from an article by a credible expert, where the article doesn’t exist?
Second, it’s well-known that Gorbachev proposed holding elections as part of his glasnosť reforms. Thus by Vernon’s logic, elections are a communist plot too…
But none of these matter to the nutizens over at Free Republic, who in their usual ‘skepticism’ simply lap up the story uncritically.
So, is this all by design? Are both sides of the entire global warming ‘debate’ nothing more than an illusion created by the omnipresent Bavarian Climatati, while the group proceeds with goals which are so nefarious as to be beyond our wildest imaginations? Are the H1, H2, and L levels of conspiracy discourse part of a grand man-made plan, and whose plan is it?
Well, while you think about these questions, you can once more click on the sultry girl to view an updated genealogy of climate conspiracy theories. And check out Eli Rabett’s beer cremes. 🙂
Update 2008-06-20: Vernon’s piece was dumber than I thought…
Update 2008-07-03: More evidence of the Climatati! Also, “my understanding of economics is quite complete”…