International Journal of Inactivism (now supplanted by Decoding SwiftHack)


Gorbachev Bavariæ

cite as: F. Bi. 2008. Gorbachev Bavariæ. Intl. J. Inact., 1:68–71


Climatologist Gavin Schmidt has recently revealed that the entire climate science community is controlled by the iron fist of a secret cabal — the Climatati!

It’s a fair cop, we are all paid up members of the climatati – a secret society formed in Bavaria in the depths of the Little Ice Age, dedicated to subverting all authority.

I’ll conveniently ignore the sentence immediately after that, because I just received, from an anonymous source, proof positive that the Climatati exists! The figure on the right shows a fragment of an early manuscript of the cabal’s meeting proceedings. The words on this mere fragment should send chills down anyone’s spine: besides talking about the Climatati, it also mentions a Goracle, an agenda, albedo, an Inquisition, a Senate conspiracy, as well as a coded reference to Nostradamus… and that’s not all! Be afraid, be very afraid.

Conspiracy triglossia

The presence of the Climatati may explain why, when climate change inactivists touch on climate conspiracy theories, there seem to be 3 different levels (or registers) of discourse:

  • The H1 level, used by inactivist think-tanks talking to the media and the world at large. Here, the tendency is to pump out conspiracy theories which are relatively bland and watered-down.
  • The H2 level, used by inactivist blog commenters in talking with the rest of the world. The commenters often deny that the inactivist movement’s into conspiracy theories.
  • And there’s the L level, used by right-wing ‘news’ outlets in preaching to their own readers. These outlets throw out the most outlandish and most cloud-cuckoo conspiracy theories they can conjure up, to keep their readers excited… and paranoid.

It’s a sort of triglossia, if you will. The H1 level of discourse will include the conspiracy theories of Bast, Lawson, Lindzen, and others which I’ve discussed in my previous blog entries. The H2 level comprises comments such as these:

Global Warming Is A Scam: Ah yes, another warm-monger trots out the conspiracy strawman. Most if not all of us who have our doubts about “climate change” mention nothing about conspiracies, […]

zog: What’s this crap about a conspiracy theory.

batnv: Conspiracy no, control yes.

It’s those darn Soviets, again

So, this brings us to — you guessed it — an example of L level conspiracy discourse: a recent essay on Renew America, by one Wes Vernon:

[… In] the spring 1998 issue of The Register […], [Natalie] Grant [Wraga] identified Green Cross International (GCI) as a Non-Government Organization (NGO) founded by Mikhail Gorbachev, the last communist dictator of the Soviet Union. The aim of GCI was worldwide enforcement of a rigid environmental agenda. […]

[One of the] GCI meetings […included] what Grant called “The Big Event — the Moscow Conference,” in January 1990. Then-Senator Al Gore was among the speakers. Only two years before, he had conducted hearings on Capitol Hill where the “global warming” theory was showcased.

There are two problems with Vernon’s account. First, though Vernon takes pains to paint Natalie Grant as a credible source, yet strangely enough, when I try googling "Natalie Grant" "The Register" Gorbachev on the Wild Wild Web, I find only regurgitations of Vernon’s article. So what’s going on? Is Vernon quoting from an article by a credible expert, where the article doesn’t exist?

Second, it’s well-known that Gorbachev proposed holding elections as part of his glasnosť reforms. Thus by Vernon’s logic, elections are a communist plot too…

But none of these matter to the nutizens over at Free Republic, who in their usual ‘skepticism’ simply lap up the story uncritically.

Conclusio disquisitionum

So, is this all by design? Are both sides of the entire global warming ‘debate’ nothing more than an illusion created by the omnipresent Bavarian Climatati, while the group proceeds with goals which are so nefarious as to be beyond our wildest imaginations? Are the H1, H2, and L levels of conspiracy discourse part of a grand man-made plan, and whose plan is it?

Well, while you think about these questions, you can once more click on the sultry girl to view an updated genealogy of climate conspiracy theories. And check out Eli Rabett’s beer cremes. 🙂

Update 2008-06-20: Vernon’s piece was dumber than I thought

Update 2008-07-03: More evidence of the Climatati! Also, “my understanding of economics is quite complete”…



  1. Frank,
    Thanks for this!

    I look forward to posts like:
    ‘Do you not realise that the Da Vinci code is really true! It’s been covered-up by the Climatati, Gavin Schmidt’s admssion is genuine and is undeniable proof of the forthcoming global government!’

    Comment by ScaredAmoeba — 2008/06/18 @ 05:08 | Reply

  2. ScaredAmoeba:

    Hah. 🙂 On Brown’s book, Nigel Lawson once said that “the current global warming orthodoxy […] resembles a Da Vinci Code of environmentalism. It contains a grain of truth — and a mountain of nonsense.” However, with the latest evidence of a Climatati, I’m sure that opinion will change in a split jiffy. 🙂 :-B

    Comment by frankbi — 2008/06/18 @ 08:47 | Reply

  3. ScaredAmoeba:

    OK, to clarify, I was referring to his opinion of Brown’s book, rather than his opinion of the AGW theory.

    Also, thanks! 🙂

    Comment by frankbi — 2008/06/18 @ 10:08 | Reply

  4. Hi Frank,
    Nigel Lawson is a purveyor of AGW denialist twaddle, I heard him claiming on the BBC World Service amongst other things that global warming had stopped in 1998. You know, all the standard denialist rubbish. He opens his mouth and a vomitous torrent of climate falsehoods and pseudo-scientific nonsense gushes forth.

    He was one of the talking heads on that Mockumentary ‘The Great Global Warming Swindle’. He recently wrote a book about the climate, according to Wikipedia, he’s a former financial journalist. So he’s as qualified regarding climate science as the brother of his daughter in law, Christopher Monckton – i.e. not at all!

    These types of people avoid all the inconvenient problems of looking at mountains of evidence and drawing conclusions, they use the much more intelligent method of deciding first, basing the conclusions upon a combination of ignorance and prejudice, then there’s no need to look at the evidence! So much smarter than those dumb scientists!

    Comment by ScaredAmoeba — 2008/06/18 @ 15:33 | Reply

  5. ScaredAmoeba:

    Yeah, no doubt Lawson’s a true blue denialist. But I still think he’s more of a H1-level guy, part of the High Respectable Inactionosphere, rather than an L-level guy, if that’s what you were discussing…

    Comment by frankbi — 2008/06/18 @ 17:40 | Reply

  6. Frank,
    a) You seem to imply that Lawson is just a figurehead who fronts the garbage to the media, who’s supported by a team of techobabblers who dream the stuff up? If so, this is denialism is coordinated to a degree that I had never really realised.
    b) Is there evidence for this? If there is, and you or someone know has it then the lawyers need to know if might have a bearing on the forthcoming action. (Ref. another blog you visit).

    Yes, I knew about the denial industry, but what I think you’re suggesting is way more sophisticated than I realised. But of course it all makes sense. To be honest it makes my blood boil if it’s true

    It seems that the denialosphere is like an iceberg, and I thought it was bad enough, but I was only aware of the tip, not the bulk that remains hidden.

    A simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to my questions will be good enough. If you feel able to tell me more please email me. Personally, if this info is not widely known, I’d rather not have stuff left visible on a website, beware of the lurkers! Especially, if I’ve understood you correctly. Perhaps I have misread things. But if it’s the choice between me not knowing and success, I’m patient, I’d rather remain ignorant because it’s the success that matters.

    Comment by ScaredAmoeba — 2008/06/18 @ 18:27 | Reply

  7. ScaredAmoeba:

    Well, no, I don’t have any additional knowledge of the inside workings (do I wish!). My “triglossia” theory is mostly just a half-baked hypothesis based on my limited observations from the outside. I’m not sure I’ll say such a triglossia phenomenon will have to be obviously planned — after all, it’s a free market out there, and every media outlet has its own niche to play to.

    Comment by frankbi — 2008/06/18 @ 18:45 | Reply

  8. What ho. You asked a while back for sources for the ‘Environmentalism is Communism’ meme; well, here is Leonard Peikoff (the Objectivist ‘philosopher’) on the matter (

    “The global-warming movement is one offshoot of today’s mysticism and statism. As many have observed, it represents in essence the onetime pro-industrial Reds changing—with the same purpose, but to be achieved this time by different means—into the anti-industrial Greens.”

    (This is slightly on topic, right?)

    Comment by horansome — 2008/06/19 @ 02:21 | Reply

  9. horansome:

    Well, thanks… but I was looking for something more historical — before 1962, say.

    Anyway, Peikoff’s recent statement is interesting, since it’s another of those (really) bland non-conspiracy non-theories akin to Aitkin’s statements. Heavy on fluff, light on content.

    Comment by frankbi — 2008/06/19 @ 02:35 | Reply

  10. Well, if we can source Peikoff’s sources; I don’t have any of his books close to hand but when I next brave that section of my university’s library I’ll see who or what he cites.

    (If, indeed, my university has any of his books…)

    Comment by horansome — 2008/06/19 @ 06:15 | Reply

  11. horansome:

    Thanks, that’ll be great!

    Comment by frankbi — 2008/06/19 @ 07:15 | Reply

  12. […] the title’s a rejoinder to Wes Vernon’s paranoid and ignorant opinion piece, The Marxist roots of the global warming scare — though as I said before, […]

    Pingback by The unculer roots of the global greening scare? « International Journal of Inactivism — 2008/06/22 @ 11:04 | Reply

  13. Your diligence in tracking all this down is exemplary, Frank. But for the full effect, you have to get the Illuminati in somehow. I think that’s where Gavin’s coming from, as it were.

    Comment by Gareth — 2008/06/24 @ 06:30 | Reply

  14. Gareth:

    Gratias tibi agimus! Well, I’m still trying to figure out what the relationship between the Climatati, the Illuminati, and the Order of the Goracle. Is the Climatati but a branch of Adam Weishaupt’s Bavarian Illuminati. According to Wikipedia, David Icke tells us that Adam Weishaupt and George Washington were the same person; Hazel McKinlay says that the world’s climate is engineered by the Illuminati. Maybe I just need to connect the dots. :B

    Comment by frankbi — 2008/06/24 @ 07:16 | Reply

  15. Very slightly OT: I saw the 24 hour version of Illuminatus! in London in the late 70s, by Ken Campbell’s Science Fiction Theatre of Liverpool. Wonderful… Not that Ken worked in any climate issues. A new production might be different…

    Comment by Gareth — 2008/06/24 @ 08:43 | Reply

  16. Gareth:

    “A new production might be different…”

    Tee-hee. 🙂

    Comment by frankbi — 2008/06/24 @ 09:01 | Reply

  17. […] via Long Ago and Not True Anyway, I find another instance of climate conspiracy theory denial (or is it climate conspiracy theory non-denial denial): Like a medieval religious zealot, Al Gore […]

    Pingback by If you don’t see the conspiracy theory it can’t eat you « International Journal of Inactivism — 2008/06/25 @ 12:05 | Reply

  18. […] been waiting a while for the High Respectable Climate Change Inactionosphere (the H1 folks) to come up with another ’scientific’ talking point. Well, it seems they were waiting […]

    Pingback by Ex quolibet quodlibet « International Journal of Inactivism — 2008/06/26 @ 04:59 | Reply

  19. […] love this – I must be a member 🙂 Read this, (especially YCHTT) Gorbachev Bavariæ International Journal of Inactivism […]

    Pingback by I love this - I must be a member :) — 2008/11/26 @ 16:46 | Reply

  20. (Baron von Lotsov: you’re just trolling.)

    Comment by frankbi — 2008/11/27 @ 10:41 | Reply

  21. […] Heartland has officially abandoned trying to convince the world of its position (H1), and decided instead to try riling up its ever-shrinking extreme-Right ‘base’ (L) to […]

    Pingback by Heartland Institute invokes Rush Limbaugh « International Journal of Inactivism — 2009/02/18 @ 09:31 | Reply

  22. […] it all ties in with the Bavarian Climatati isn’t clear yet, but there’s definitely a connection. Also, contrary to what you hear […]

    Pingback by Fraser Institute uncovers yet another worldwide conspiracy? « International Journal of Inactivism — 2009/04/21 @ 18:43 | Reply

  23. […] If you listen to any of the right-wing rhetoric on pretty much any issue one can have a progressive stance on, George Soros is the enigmatic financier passing along millions of dollars to activists, arguably to… well, we’re not quite sure. Google “soros conspiracy” and you’ll find several versions of this; a few hits of “I’m feeling lucky” should sate any curiosity on the subject. (For a real laugh, check out his article on Conservapedia.) Obviously, one would expect The Boss to show up multiple times in the Vast Warmist Conspiracy, since he holds the pursestrings of the Bavarian Climatati. […]

    Pingback by What’s Not In The CRU Hack « Left as an Exercise — 2009/12/10 @ 00:26 | Reply

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