cite as: F. Bi. 2008. Goracle vs. Giblets. Intl. J. Inact., 1:31–32
ITEM! One of the world’s leading climatologists says that the targets for CO2 reduction set by the IPCC are far too high to stop global warming. According to James Hansen, at the current target of 450 ppm polar ice would eventually melt entirely, raising sea levels by 75 meters and radically transforming the planet. But would all this happen fast enough to save Obama by turning voters’ attentions from the devastating “Bittergate” scandal, or will the destruction of the coasts merely cede the nomination to Clinton by leaving Obama with nothing to work with but Hillary’s natural constituency of embittered midwestern gun-toting god-freaks? Giblets World News will have more on this breaking story as it develops!
Yo ho ho, the earth’s climate is going to pot, the facts on climate change are being distorted, and… mainstream media journalists are worried about how not to offend climate cranks’ sensitivities! And also worried about issues such as missing white women, and Jeremiah Wright, and Lindsay Lohan stripping totally naked.
Obviously, with so many pressing issues facing our world, it’s hard to get the mainstream media to pay any attention to the nonsensical “500 Scientists With Documented Doubts of Man-Made Global Warming Scares” list, or the Heartland Institute’s hilarious response to the scientists who want their names removed from the list. (I’d have thought that anything involving 50+ angry scientists has to be a good story, but that’s just me.)
So, what’s a freedom-hating pinko like me got to do?
The solution… or not
Well, according to Larry Solomon, the second most influential person in the global warming “debate” is William Connolley, and that’s because Connolley is a Wikipedia administrator. Unfortunately, Solomon’s not a very reliable news source, which means Wikipedia’s probably not that influential… But let’s suppose it is. And let’s suppose people looking for information on the so-called “global warming controversy” would want to check out the Wikipedia article titled, well, “Global warming controversy“. And let’s suppose, well, that I can actually add a new section to the article…
But this is probably far from enough. So, gentle readers, do you have any further ideas on how to spread the “Heartland 500” story around? Will calling up the Canadian Broadcast Corporation help? Should we get one of the scientists to go to rehab, preferably one who’s young and blonde?